Juice Stained Pants and a Plastic Headband

Joyful determination.

That's what I think of when I see this picture. I'm 3 years old. I've obviously just had some sort of unpleasant incident at the snack table. I'm wearing a plastic headband. It's apparently purely a fashion statment since my short hair doesn't seem to require added control. My chubby hands are gripping the handlebars while I peddle my heart out.

I'm clearly winning.

But more important, I'm attending the task at hand with joy and freedom. Laying all else aside and running my race at hand. Doing my part. Now my part has certainly changed in these more recent years. Daily life requires more of me than peddling a metal tricycle around a pre-school playground, but I might consider that my attitude could remain the same. I think I could still look past my circumstances and ego callings and run MY race with freedom and joyful determination.

..........let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith...........

hebrews 12:1b-2a

I can look past the battle of the day, big or small, divorce or juice stains. I can acknowledge the sting, clean up the mess as best I can, get back on my trike, and move along. With joyful determination.

I think God may still see me as this juice stained girl with the plastic headband. If I close my eyes, I can almost feel the victory...........

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I know this list looks a little bit like last year's list. That's not to say I didn't get and truly enjoy many of the items on this list in the past year, it's just that I seem to need a new supply of these things on a regular basis. I hope this doesn't exhaust you or the reindeer. And please, as usual, feel free to add to this list as you see fit. I'm certain I have forgotten things I probably really need.

1. Truth. To recognize it. To embrace it.

2. Peace. To let what is true be true.

3. Volvo S60. Champagne with tinted windows and brown leather.

4. Wisdom. I've spent more than enough time being foolish.

5. Courage. To stop letting fear dictate my activity and direction.

6. Love. To express it. To feel it. To recognize its many forms.

7. Canon digital Rebel.

8. Friendship. To know what it truly means.

9. Perseverance. To just keep going.

10. Snowshoes.

I know typically you have that "naughty or nice" clause.......

I'm hoping that is based on a lifetime curve because I think this was a banner year for me. I also know you can't really put all this stuff under my tree. You can leave some of it in the driveway.

Love from your biggest fan,

Jazz Piano in a Presbyterian Church

There's a Presbyterian church in downtown Sacramento. It's an old building, large and modestly ornate. They have a little atrium courtyard that I go to and sit during my lunchtime when the weather is nice. They have a few small trees, some flowers, and large paving stones as the flooring. A small fountain helps drowned out the city sound effects. It's a beautiful sanctuary on a summer day.

They also have a small chapel that they leave open during business hours. Anyone can come in for prayer or meditation or curiosity. It's a fair-sized room with old wooden pews and worn hymnals in the racks. They have some stained glass windows, candle wall sconces, and wagon wheel overhead lighting. All electric now, of course, but my romantic side wants to believe they have been modernized from actual candle holder days. It's typically quiet in the chapel, maybe a few office workers dropping in and out on their lunch hour.

The other day I was needing a little getaway to break up my work day and I started daydreaming about the chapel. I had been reading about how God is the Initiator in our relationship. I was thinking about how when I even think of God it's because He's calling to me first. So I was looking forward to the getaway and even passed up a lunch invitation.

The church is only a few blocks from my office, maybe a 5-minute walk. I got to the chapel door and I could hear music. Inside it was warm and dry, a welcome contrast to the rain outside. There was a black man sitting at the piano. He was probably in his mid 60s. He didn't look up when I came in, he kept on playing. He was playing with his eyes closed, as if he were playing from somewhere deeper than memory. It was Jazz. Beautiful, smooth, classical jazz piano. In a Presbyterian church.

I took a seat in the pew and was caught up in the transcendent worship of this jazz pianist. Witness to this moment of beauty. He played song after song as I sat and offered my own prayers and praises.

The chiming of the church bells always comes too soon when it signals time to return to the office. I didn't want to interrupt this man, but I didn't want to leave without saying thank you. I had just heard a sermon on the value and importance of thankfulness. I was truly thankful for these moments of bliss and I didn't want this man to miss out on that, especially since he played such a big part in it.

I approached him during a break in his playing. I said, "Thank you for your beautiful music and allowing me to share in this worship." He looked up and said he didn't have a piano where he lived and he comes there to play. He noticed I had come there to meditate and he had interrupted that and he was sorry.

No, no, I assured him, this was definitely my lucky day.

Hero Story #27

When I was a little girl, I stubbed my toe regularly.
I didn't like shoes.
Apparently I had an issue picking up my feet.

My grandpa had this little bottle of antiseptic.
Had the built-in wand on the top.
Merthiolate......Mercurochrome.....which ever one stung the most...that's what it was.
It was horrid stuff.

Popo would put me on the bathroom counter and dangle my feet in the sink.
We'd wash the bloody stub and dry it on Mamo's good towel.
He'd always get this look.
It was the "this is really going to hurt you" look.
But of course, in the name of infection prevention, it was the best thing for me.

He would take the wand out and start blowing puffs of air onto my toe.
The medicine would drop onto the sore and I would wince and moan.
He would blow and blow and blow until he looked like he might hyperventilate.
He was attempting to distract me from the initial pain while the medicine did its job.
What it also did was let me know he cared enough about me to do what was best for me....even though I didn't like it. He cared and that always went a long way.

It does my heart good when the truth tellers in my life stick around for what comes next, even when it involves whining and tears.

What Do You Want?

I have been asked this question thousands of times in my life. I've answered it thousands of ways, mostly in reference to a drive-thru menu. But when Jesus asked people "What do you want?", I think He was asking the deepest part of their heart and none of them were recorded answering in the petty, short-sighted ways I have been known to do.

When I pondered the question with my mind set on a real answer, I walked past some pretty small requests and landed on a few larger ones.

RELATIONSHIP
God Spouse Children Family Friends People at Large

CREATIVE EXPRESSION
Writing Conversation Photos Cooking Gardening Home Environment

REST
Art Hiking Reading Napping Scenery Music Praise
Gratitude Appreciation Singing

What I really like is when these three things can be present all at once.

TRANSCENDENCE

Watching the sun rise. Again.
Laying down with (my) spouse, talking, laughing, sex
Hiking on a mountain trail, aware of the presence of God
Framing a recent photo
Talking long distance with a friend I haven't seen forever
Sitting on the beach, feeling seduced by the power and elegance of the waves
Eating a wonderful dinner with my kids
Laughing until my tummy hurts
Expressing words that bring comfort and healing to my friend
Hearing words from my friend that bring comfort and healing to my heart
Walking in the park and hearing God say, "I love you"
Watching kids you love, or don't even know, discover something new

I would love to live in this state of transcendence every moment.
I'm catching on to the idea this will never be possible here on earth.
But seeing these glimpses of beauty and understanding them as blessings encourages me to walk with more freedom and hope.

What do you want?
You should make your list today.
Life is lived well in the small moment.