Capital Chaos

V is for Vindication

2010-03-06T22:48:00.001-08:00

There. That's more like it.

I Will Not Be Broken

2010-03-06T12:36:00.000-08:00

My dear mother bought me a Martha Stewart cookie cookbook. She was hoping to receive some delicious cookies as a result. I have high hopes for making this a reality.

This is a photo of my first attempt. Apricot Windows. Sounds delightful, doesn't it? Directions: spread incredibly expensive ingredients evenly in a 11X17 pan. Bake for a ridiculously long time. Pull them out and top with hard to find, expensive apricot filling. Pipe remaining dough in a lattice pattern on top and return to the oven for even longer. Well by the time they were done with round one in the oven, the bottom cookie was a cracker. Piping the dough on top was impossible. However, I was able express myself in the moment. Please don't miss the expletive written in dough.

I will not be broken by a Martha Stewart cookbook. I will not. I'm on to bigger and better recipes today. Crackle cookies and homemade fig bars. I'll keep you posted.

Spring has Sprung

2010-02-28T15:17:00.000-08:00

Strawberries, daffodils, and a long walk in the sunshine. Spring is finally here!

Camera Club

2010-02-26T23:02:00.001-08:00

Camera club. Not to be confused with Camero club. I don't have a camero. But I do have a camera. So I invited a few friends who are interested in photography to take pictures over a period of a few weeks. We all got together for the first time tonight to share what we had done. We had snacks and drank wine and looked at pictures. It was really fun.

The theme was Round and Round. This was what I considered to be my best shot. We are on the calendar for 6 weeks with barns and fences. I can't wait!

Memories

2010-02-19T15:47:00.001-08:00

My daughter is making a photo collage. She came by today to look through some old photos to scan. She came across this one of us in Disneyland. We were waiting for the parade to start. It brought back such great memories. I love old pictures.

Hey Mac!

2010-02-16T22:15:00.000-08:00

Mac made it home. I love him. He has amazing colors, a super lightweight body, more creative applications than I can ever understand. I love him and hopefully you'll be hearing a lot more out of him.

Hey Mac!! New computer is coming home tomorrow!!

2010-02-15T20:49:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T15:21:00.000-08:00

It's a made up holiday. It's also my daughter's birthday. She 24 today. She has always LOVED Valentine's Day. She thinks her birthday is a holiday everyone should celebrate.

Happy Birthday, daughter. You are the best Valentine I ever got.

The Art of Procrastination

2010-02-13T19:22:00.000-08:00

I'm mastering the art of procrastination regarding homework. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love school. Love it.

I love learning new things. I'm a lifelong learner and reader. Since I'm going to be learning stuff for the rest of my life, I might as well get a degree...right? I find school validating. It's good to be graded. I feel smart. I'm also a little greedy. I want all the points.

So what is up with the procrastination? I find myself doing everything but homework. I clean house. I go to the grocery store. I take the dog for a walk. I harvest my crops on FarmTown. I watch the Real Housewives of Orange County. It's a sickness really.

I do love school. I work well under pressure. I need to prioritze just a tinsy bit more, though.

Real Housewives? Seriously?

To Apple or not to Apple

2010-02-12T21:02:00.000-08:00

I'm in the market for a new computer. I'm seriously considering a MacBook. Any opinions?

Night on the Town

2010-01-24T10:09:00.001-08:00

My daughter and the boyfriend invited me out on the town. We went downtown to the IMAX theater and saw Avatar in 3D. It was pretty good. Think "Dances With Wolves" in space. I highly recommend the 3D version, too. The effects were amazing, and I'm not really into that sort of thing. I can see why boys would be nuts for it, though, lots of chasing scenes and stuff blowing up.

We went to Buckhorn for tri-tip sandwiches first. Then to Rick's Dessert Diner, which was equally amazing. The place is really small, but the raspberry torte was delicious.
It was nice to spend time with my daughter and the boyfriend who are scheduled to be married on 10/10/10.

Next up....Wedding Planning. Oh my.

Burned Out Buttons

2010-01-13T19:46:00.000-08:00

My son has a cell phone. What teenager doesn't?

He bought said phone with his own money. This was back when he had a job. It wasn't cheap either. It was my contract, but the phone was his purchase. It's a 2 year contract. That was 1 year ago. He has totally burned up the buttons on this expensive phone. This gives you some idea of the amount of texting this boy can do.

Buttons? Gone.

So we head to our local ATT store to investigate a new device. We walk in and the perky lady comes trotting over to help us. "Cheapest device in the store WITHOUT a new contract? $150."

She lowers her voice and says, "but if you go to Best Buy, you can buy a ATT compatible phone for about $30. You didn't hear that from me."

Well, we were screeching into the Best Buy parking lot moments later since I was the one with the checkbook. Sure enough, Go Phone $29.99 and up. Of course we wanted the "and up" model, but still I saved a TON of money.

We bought the texting model. I'll let you know how long these buttons last.

A Day Trip

2010-01-10T19:34:00.000-08:00

Now this is what I call making the best of a day off. I never thought of Yosemite as a day trip, but here's what my Saturday looked like. It was amazing.

The Perfect Kid

2010-01-02T19:58:00.001-08:00

I can't believe what a good sport my kid is. He's willing to get up early and drive 4+ hours with his mother to spend the day doing things "you do with your mom." He picks a CD we can both stand to listen to. We stopped for Starbuck's and talked about social issues and government on the way.

We went to the Golden Gate bridge and walked out half way. I've always wanted to do that and never have until today. It was fun. Windy. Windy and fun.

He's patient while I snoop through the gift shop. He pretends to be interested in which magnet I pick out. He has done this countless numbers of times before. (See refrigetator evidence).

Then he acts excited about eating at a restaurant that I saw on Drive-ins, Diners, and Dives. He looked up the menu on line last night to see what he might want to order and iGoogle'd directions.

It's not all sunshine and field trips. He's 18. He has no job.

But as part of "2010: The Year of Gratitude" I'm going to focus on the positive. He's patient and kind. He's super creative and intelligent. He's incredibly funny. He loves his mother. I am going to take some of the credit for proper care and training. But mostly he chooses to be a really wonderful person.

And for that, I am grateful.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T21:13:00.001-08:00

I often go through my days wishing for an experience other than the one I'm actually having.

It's an odd thing that I do without realizing it. Why not just relax and enjoy where I'm at instead of always wishing things were as I think they "should be" (whatever that means).....it's quite frustrating. It keeps me from really being present with the people and places I encounter.

It also keeps me from experiencing the appropriate gratitude for the many blessings I do have.

I'm living a blessed life. I have so many things to be grateful for. This year I'm going to reverberate the beauty, joy, excitement, anticipation, laughter, and love I receive on a daily basis.

I want to cultivate a spirit of generosity and gratitude for what God has done right here in Apartment 501.

Happy New Year!

The Fat Lady Sings The Blues

2009-12-29T20:32:00.000-08:00

It's not over until the fat lady sings......and she's singing the blues today. Christmas is over and I had to go back to work Monday. Brutal.

Nothing left of Christmas except the fond memories of the dessert table, good times, and a pinching waistband.

Gym anyone?

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T09:45:00.001-08:00

It's a quiet Christmas this year. My family is in a toddler lull. No small kids around. It's both different and nice. I miss all the little kid traditions, but it's nice to have peaceful moments.

I do have a teenager, however. An old one. He wanted a tattoo for Christmas. Imagine that. His older sister was having a fit. It wasn't the idea of him being tattooed that bothered her. She was horrified that he would ask for a tattoo for Christmas. She thought it brought out the trashiness of the holidays to ask your mama for a tattoo for Christmas. And it was even worse that her mama would consider it an appropriate gift.

It wasn't at the top of my list of things I want my child to have. It was at the top of his lift of things he wanted. So I bought him a sweatshirt, a tshirt, a pair of sunglasses and we went to visit a guy named Rhino who did this....

Hope you get what you want this year.

Wishing You the Best Christmas

2009-12-24T13:29:00.001-08:00

Hope your Christmas is meaningful and peaceful. Much love.

Making a List, Checking It Twice

2009-12-23T12:41:00.001-08:00

Tree? check
Gifts? check
Vacation days? check
Cards? check
Friends coming by? check
Family plans? check
Baking? I'm working on that next!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2009-12-21T09:25:00.001-08:00

I hope you managed to stay off the naughty list this year!

Anything But.....

2009-12-04T11:07:00.001-08:00

I'm off work today. I have a list of things to do as long as my arm.
I should be doing homework.
But I made peanut butter toast and coffee instead.
I should be cleaning my house.
But I'm reading blogs.
I should be decorating my Christmas tree.
But I'm watching "The Real Housewives of New York" reruns.
I should be showered and going to Costco. I have people coming over at 5.
But I'm laying around in my snowman jammies.
I should be.....
Yet, I'm doing anything but.

Holiday Question?

2009-12-01T21:51:00.000-08:00

Me: Have you made a Christmas list?

Youngest Child: I have. I'll email it to you.

Me: (reading email.....) WHAT? You want a TATTOO for Christmas?

Youngest Child: Well, that or a pierced septum.

Me: Excuse me, I need a glass of wine.

Thankful for the Future

2009-11-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I will find along the way, but I know where the road is going. It's headed toward Heaven and I'm determined to follow it all the way there.

Thankful for My Part

2009-11-26T09:53:00.000-08:00

Honestly the green bean casserole isn't my favorite. But I make it for them.

Cranberries....now we're talking. I make some with pecans and orange zest. I make some covered with sugar.

When my children were small, I thought it was a good idea to start traditions for our family. I thought it was good for them to have small details of celebration to look forward to year after year. I wanted them to know a special way to celebrate our family and the bigger traditions of our culture and our faith.

And that's what I did. We had familiar foods each holiday, we had familiar decorations, watched certain movies, and went to particular events. We found a way to celebrate each holiday and one another.

Now they're older. Adults even. And I'm single.

As the holidays come, I look around to see a different landscape in my home. Some of the traditions that were made for a young family were let go of in their proper time. The timeless traditions, like cooking, hang on.

And I'm thankful for the traditions of the past and those that are still here. I look forward to those traditions of the future that aren't here yet.

No matter what the future holds, I'm thankful for playing a part in a family, a culture, and a faith that values love and tradition.

Oh, and I'm seriously thankful for these yams. Enjoy your family and your traditions today.

LOVE!!!

Thankful for Pie

2009-11-25T21:25:00.001-08:00

Pecan Pie. My pie is better than my pictures.

I mean, really, just look at those little leaves!

Thankful for Beauty

2009-11-24T19:10:00.000-08:00

God is amazing. The Earth sings of His glory.

Wish I Were There

2009-11-23T14:59:00.001-08:00

Beauty is on my mind. I seriously need to get away.

Beauty and Rest

2009-11-20T20:32:00.000-08:00

Two things I need more of are beauty and rest. The beauty of nature, I need a hike. Or a trip to the ocean. Yosemite is calling my name.

Mom

2009-11-17T18:42:00.000-08:00

Mom had knee surgery today. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery.

Gotta Love the Adventure

2009-11-16T23:11:00.000-08:00

Every day is a new adventure. I love that about this life. Make the most of your day.

Did I Volunteer?

2009-11-15T00:23:00.000-08:00

For school, that is.

Of course I did. I want to focus on education to acheive a career goal.

But dang....it's hard. I haven't been to school in almost 25 years! That's 175 in dog years. And I'm not even in a math class yet.

I had to write my first academic paper ever. I'm sure I was supposed to write one in high school, but I was too busy hanging out in my high school's SMOKING AREA to be bothered with things like research and APA formatting

I'm a life-long learner, and I love having the intention and focus school provides. I LOVE the validation of being graded. Who would have thought? Not my 10th grade Algebra teacher. He gave me a C- just so I would pass and not return to his class the next year. My teen charm was lost on him. Must have been the time I went to his class sans shoes. Don't ask me why, I can't even imagine it now.

I struggled with this paper for the past few days. Struggled hard. I tried to write all day yesterday. I kept thinking I had writer's block. I sat with my computer on my lap. Then I decided to vacuum. I stared at the screen some more, then I dusted. I read through the syllabus again, then cleaned the kitchen floor.

This morning my paper still wasn't written, but my house was super clean.

I went for a walk, sat with some girlfriends on the sunny Starbuck's patio, watched Grey's Anatomy on the DVR.....and finally wrote my paper.

I did volunteer for this. It's going to change my life. And bring me joy. School was the right choice for me. And my house is clean to boot!

New Way to See

2009-11-09T14:35:00.001-08:00

Gargoyles. I would not normally be attracted to gargoyles. This is not officially a gargoyle since it is not a water spout. It is technically a grotesque figure. But I like to call all the sculptures on the outside of buildings gargoyles. Mostly because I like the word.

Anyway, I took this picture while standing at the top of Notre Dame. Which happens to be a church. This figure is perched on the top of a Holy temple. A place of worship. A Church.

Gargoyles seem so gothic to me. Sort of scary. Evil? Maybe not evil, but scary. The whole goth scene, to me, was about dark teens parading around town in long black coats and black fingernail polish. I had a chance to change my thinking when I went to Paris. Notre Dame is pure goth. It has grotesque figures perched atop all its walls. It has long, spired designs enshrining its doorways. It has gargoyles channeling water from the rooftops out their mouths onto the street below. It is quite extraordinary. I kept having to remind myself this was a church. The ruts in my mind regarding gothic icons kept wanting to pull me toward fear, or at least apprehension.

Notre Dame was built over several decades starting somewhere around the 1400s....give or take a few hundred years. My history facts are muddled at the moment. Building Notre Dame took time, money, and intensive labor. Over a few hundred years. It is amazing to me.

Standing at the front doors looking up, then standing at the top looking down I started to see things differently. I started to get a feeling for the magnificence of it. What were the thoughts and prayers of those hands and hearts that built it? Taking time to do something right. Believing in the dreams of those before you. Placing "guards" around your Holy arena. Carving out a safe haven for worship and glorifying God.

I can be so limited in my view of the world, let alone in my view of God Almighty.

I pause to ask myself, do I know the dreams of those before me? Am I working in tandem with others to hold the same values? Am I using all my resources to glorify God? How are my conditioned mind ruts keeping me from seeing other truths?

I praise God today for all the saints before and behind. I praise God for all the beauty of nature and the gifts of men.

I praise God I can see things differently.

Arc du Triomphe

2009-11-07T22:10:00.001-08:00

The French people certainly went the extra mile building a monument to celebrate their victories. Perhaps it's something I should consider doing regularly. It doesn't necessarily need to be built with stone or wood. It could simply be built with recognition and gratitude, with pen and paper, with prayers and thanksgivings. A monument could be built with love and actions to my neighbors.

Fight the good fight. Celebrate the victory.

Be Your Beautiful Self

2009-11-06T22:19:00.001-08:00

Being yourself can be difficult, yet being unique can be beautiful.

Relax and Enjoy Yourself

2009-11-05T22:38:00.000-08:00

Take some time to relax and enjoy the moments of your day!

Waiting For Superman

2009-11-04T19:39:00.001-08:00

I'm not waiting for a caped crusader to swoop in and rescue me. I would, obviously, allow said rescue were it to come upon me.....but I'm not waiting around for it.

If Superman shows up, tell him I'm out living. He can fly. He'll catch up.

Got Crabs???

2009-11-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

I seem to have plenty of opportunity to face crabby people during my day. Sometimes it's even when I look in the mirror.

Autumn Traditions

2009-11-01T18:50:00.001-08:00

Autumn is the kick off for the Holiday Season and all its traditions. Our family has a lot of traditions. My mom and I decided about 20 years ago that we needed to make some fun, family-friendly traditions to enhance our holiday seasons. In fall we go to Apple Hill.

Over the years, we have perfected our annual trip. We have several variations, so it doesn't get boring, but it ALWAYS includes certain things. Like apples. Of course.

And family. This is my mother and my daughter. Our precious Aunt Mari used to love the annual trip to Apple Hill. She was always the life of the party at any event. We have lots of funny stories about our trips with Aunt Mary. She passed away a few years ago. It was hard going back for the first few years without her. Today, we think fondly of her and continue on with our traditions. We are continuing building the memories with one another.It also includes the mandatory apple donuts. We go straight for the dozen. No messing around.

I'm really glad that we started this tradition. It's a good way to spend time together with our memories. It's also a great way to make the most of the beautiful days we have yet to live.

Still Flying High

2009-10-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

I'm still flying above the clouds. I did homework. Life is good.

I'm THIS Excited!

2009-10-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a college student. I finished my first official night of class. I feel like the life of the party that is my own life today.

I'm this excited.

Only 207 weeks to go.

Live Life

2009-10-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

I saw these guys on my walk this morning. A duck couple finding their delicious breakfast just under the surface of their pond. They were bottoms up more than they were upright. Focus. That's what I thought of.

Tomorrow I start school. I'm going after what I want. I'm anxious. I'm excited. I'm nervous. And all of those things are fine. I am going to try and stay focused on my goal.

My goal is living my life. It's the only one I've got to live. Wish me luck!

Seattle in the Fall

2009-10-24T19:57:00.001-07:00

is very beautiful

Scrapbook Expo

2009-10-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

I went to the Scrapbook Expo yesterday in Sacramento. It takes over the Convention Center once a year. Women come from all over to converge on a weekend of shopping, chocolate, and scrapbooking. My mom and I usually go for a "crop night". It consists of 6 continuous hours of scrapbooking mayhem.

I'm STILL working on my book from my trip to Paris last year. I keep thinking I'm done with it, and then I realize I've left out some important set of the photo journal I have.

Last night I added a few more pages, "Guy at the olive store" and "Street Musicians" and "Arc du Triumph".....and I actually think I'm done. It's only taken me 18 months! But I'm proud of it. It's a beautiful reminder of a trip of a lifetime!

Long Week

2009-10-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

How will I ever be able to go back to 5 day work weeks? I've been on furloughs for only a few months and have fallen into the rhythm it offers. Monday through Thursday.

It was a really hard week, busy and stressful at work. And now it's Thursday night and all I want to do is take a nap until the pizza guy gets here.

Happy Anniversary???

2009-10-11T07:24:00.000-07:00

Today is my 28th wedding anniversary. Or was. Does it still count if you aren't actually married anymore? And the groom has started to tick away years with a new bride? Probably not. I won't be expecting a gift.

I made it legally through 23 years. Which is a really long time, and I'd like some credit for having made it that far considering who I was married to. I don't want to count the "anniversary" of the d-i-v-o-r-c-e (I spell it when I don't want myself to know what I'm talking about). Don't get me wrong, my divorce was coming at me like a tsunami. It was sort of like getting in a barrel 100 feet upstream from a waterfall. We were WAY TOO young (we met when I was 14). We were emotionally stunted and immature. We were completely clueless what do to about it all. 23 years was quite an achievement, to be sure.

I'm adjusting well to being divorced. I finished raising my children. I'm doing well at my job. I'm living alone for the first time in my life. I'm enrolled in college to get the degree I've always wanted. I just can't talk myself into forgetting the good times. We had some really good times. We were funny together. We were adventurous and daring. We were young and limber. We had spunk and spirit. We were best friends for 27 years. I truly love this person.

So even though my groom called the game, I'm going to celebrate the good times today. I'm going to remember the special moments and be grateful for my children and enjoy the peace and quiet that comes from no longer having your life head toward a waterfall.

Still Feeling Prickly

2009-10-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

Something to Say

2009-10-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

I usually do. Have something to say, that is.

I'm struggling to stay in the blog game.

I'll keep trying. Maybe I need to spend more time thinking of interesting things during the day?

Maybe it will improve my perspective in the process.

In the mean time, here's a picture of a cactus I took earlier this summer. Looks like Mickey Mouse to me.

Empty Nest

2009-10-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

My youngest child moved out of the house on Sunday. He's flung himself out of the nest into the big, scary world alone.

He's struggling to make a life for himself. He's struggling to feel like a man and be successful in his own eyes. And he's trying to do it all today. Instant gratification. He doesn't want to believe there's a natural order to a life well lived.

I have tried to explain these things. This has not had an immediate impact on his choices. It may in the future. I have hope that my efforts have not been wasted.

I wish things were happening in a different order. I wish circumstances were different. I wish growing into a man didn't require such deep struggle against one's own self. I wish we didn't all need to battle our own demons.

But we do. And he does. And I'll bake him cookies when he needs to come back and tell me all about it.

Favorite Part of Fall

2009-10-04T17:21:00.000-07:00

I love fall. The air turns crisp. The leaves start to turn vibrant colors. I can get my sweaters out.

School Starts.

But you know what one of my most favorite things about fall is? You may be saying, no Elaine, what? Is it little pumpkins?

Nope.

Is it your new fall tablecloth you bought at the Wal-Mart?

Nope.

Is it strawberry Indian corn? Or the way it all comes together for a fall table scape?

Nope! (Did you just say TABLESCAPE?)

One of my favorite parts of fall is this:

BUYING CANDY CORN IN BULK AT WIN-CO!

Letters From Home

2009-10-02T22:07:00.000-07:00

Vermont in the fall compares only to Paris in the Spring. I thought about you today. I went to the Arts Festival at the Convention Center. I had to bribe the kid with a cheeseburger at Nationwide Freezer Meats to go with me.

The Arts Festival made me think of you and I wished you were there showing your fabulous paintings. Although, I think it's closer to the dream for you to be in Vermont on this evening. I saw the Arts Festival on the website of Judith Monroe, whom our friend takes art lessons from, and thought it would be fun to go see her stuff. There were lots of things there that I would have purchased if I were made of money, which I am not. We know this because if I were, I would be in Vermont.

I have been working on my contentment issues. I cancelled a date I had with a person I met on an internet dating site. He reminded me of a cross between my ex-husband and my nere-do-well second cousin-in-law, which almost zorched my psyche altogether. He called snow "the white shit" and wore a tank top. Two clear red flags that I heeded immediately.

Unfortunately, my progess on contentment issues has not prohibited the use of alcohol and I am again drinking alone. Only 2 beers per day, but still, it's 3 days in a row and the 6 pack is gone. This cannot be a good sign, even for those not gifted in math. How many times in a row can a person watch "Under the Tuscan Sun" anyway?

I am sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

LOVE!
E

One Day At A Time

2009-10-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

Dating: I don't know how to do this. Some say you have to actually leave the house to experience dating. I'm still thinking about this. I think that dating is a serious matter. The reason for dating would be to see if two people are compatible for marriage. Otherwise, you're just hanging around with a friend.

Internet dating: I don't know how to do this. I've been trying it out a little. But, here we go with the serious matter thing. It feels very unnatural to me. How can I know if I want to date someone if I don't even know them. I would prefer something more organic. You know, stumbling across someone at a photography class, or bumping into someone during my lunch break in the park, talking, getting to know one another, then deciding if we would like to start dating. But I'm not bumping into single men who are even remotely interested in being friends with me, let alone dating me. Why is that? Statistically speaking, at my age I'm more likely to be killed by a terrorist or struck by lightening than to get married. It's hard to look forward to being attacked by a terrorist, but I seem to have no trouble hoping I'll be desired as a marriage partner some day. The trouble comes from the impatience for this desire to come true.

Spontaneous Relationship: I don't know how to do this. I mean, I THINK I know, but it's not happening and I'm inclined to interpret this as lack of skill. I'm active, engaging, well groomed, and quick to smile. This doesn't seem to be attracting anyone of the opposite sex. It's confusing to me.

Picking Up Strangers: I don't know how to do this. Nor do I want to learn. Period.

Contentment: I am learning how to do this. This is a key to a peace-filled life. Whether I'm married or not. Whether I'm employed or healthy or acheiving my goals or not. Being content with what is true in my life. Moving toward the desires of my heart. Moving toward God.

Living My Life: I am learning how to do this. One day at a time.

I Can't Sleep

2009-09-29T03:02:00.001-07:00

Oh I'd love to be sleeping right now. Everyone else in this hemisphere is. Insomnia: the least amusing part of menopause.

It's 3AM and my alarm will ring in 2 hours and I'll have to get up and go to work. I'll probably be able to sleep at 4:45. I'll probably be in some deep REM right about then.

But for now, I'm sitting in the livingroom listening to the dog snore and wondering if it's foolish to eat chocolate chip cookies at this hour.

Dear Mother Nature,

2009-09-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Mother Nature,

It's September. Give up the 100 degree days already.

Thank you,

Elaine

Sign On The Dotted Line.......

2009-09-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

I did it. Classes start October 26, 2009.

I met with a University counselor tonight and I enrolled in college. I signed on the dotted line for both grant and student loan applications.

It scares me. For so many reasons. Too many to list here. When the applications were all filled out, I left the counselor's office feeling like I wanted to vomit. The overwhelming emotion was loneliness.

I'm excited, too. It's been my deep desire for years to return to school for a formal education.

I did it. Classes start October 26, 2009.

Busted

2009-09-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

It appears Maxie may have taken up another unsavory habit. How do these sweet babies of mine go astray?

Sunday Call To Worship

2009-09-20T16:00:00.001-07:00

I sat here this morning and thanked God for His goodness. On the earth and in my life.

Perpetual Mid-Life Crisis

2009-09-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me....I'm sorry, but I'm still on this topic.

For those of you who don't know me....you're about to find out that I've been having a mid-life crisis for approximately 22 years.

I sense there is something missing in my life. I also keep insisting I'm not sure what it is. However, I do know what it is. I didn't finish my education. I have dreams that can only be acheived through continued education. Seems simple enough to remedy. Right?

I tried to go back to school a few times over the years. I was married for 23 years to the same person who didn't quite share my desire for higher learning. He didn't actually stop me from going back to school, but he didn't support the effort and that made it just hard enough for me to give it up. A few years later, when you add a job and kids into mix, well.....that made it just hard enough for me to shelf the dream.

I had a wonderful time raising my children. I have absolutely no regrets, those were the best years of my life. I worked part time while my children were in school. I parented with purpose and intention, giving them my full attention. We created memories and traditions and laughed around the kitchen table nearly every evening.

I'm 47 years old now. I'm no longer married. My children are grown. I've been in my current line of work for 20 years. I wake up each morning with an empty nest and years more to live.

I keep telling myself I don't know what to do next. Yet I can't bear to think about working my current job for another 20 years.

Much effort has been made to quench the desire in smaller, less costly ways. I've been through therapy, tried changing churches, reading books, and participated in countless women's bible studies. I've even tried hobbies and such. All of these are really good things for me to have done and they've all added value to who I am today. But they don't quiet that deep desire within me.

The dream is still there and it occurs to me that there is nothing between me and the dream now. Except.......what. Except whatever walls I've put up around it. Whatever protection I've erected to keep the flame alive in my heart all this time.

So it looks like the mid-life crisis might be winding down. Looks like I actually do know what to do about some of this perpetual discontent. I need to take the risk. Step into the unknown.

I've talked with a university counselor. I'm milling over the financial aid options. I'm going to take this one year at a time.

I'll keep you posted.

The Happiest Hour

2009-09-18T12:00:00.001-07:00

A girls night Friday night. I love it.

Survivor Night

2009-09-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

Survivor.

I love it.

I know.....but I do. I really do.

I've seen every single episode of every single season. It's an illness, I'm sure.

I used to have friends who loved Survivor as much as I do. We had weekly dinner parties and watched the show together on the DVR so we could rewind the funny parts. Like when someone makes a Blackberry out of a piece of driftwood and talks into it, or takes a nasty blow to the head, or gags on a grub worm. Like when that one guy lost a tooth and kept going through the challenge. Good stuff. My Survivor friends moved away without checking with me first. It was very sad.

I tried to carry on the tradition with others, but it's hard to find good Survivor Night buddies. It's not that I have high expectations, but not everyone likes Survivor. Shocking.

It's fun to watch (and heckle) in a group. Yet I enjoyed a solitary viewing of tonight's season premier. Since I was alone, I thought I would share some thoughts here about tonight's show because I seem to have so many words.

1) If you are going to audition for Survivor, please WATCH an episode first. Thank you.
2) If you are selected to be on Survivor, please do not include a YELLOW dress in your wardrobe. Wear brown. Or black. Shorts. Black shorts. Black shorts that actually cover your ass. Thank you.
3) I really hope they did a thorough psychological profile on Russell. He looks completely psychotic. He was acting that way, too. It should be very interesting to watch his drama unfold. I'm hoping he doesn't actually hurt someone.
4) I love watching the group dynamic in action under these ultra-concentrated conditions. Fold in an extra motivator ($1,000,000 worth of greed) and the truth of people's core being emerges. I find it facinating.
5) Jeff Probst has cute dimples.
6) If you are selected to be on Survivor, and have firsthand knowledge of the conditions of the game, have appropriate clothing selected, please buy some flint and practice building a fire. You should possibly consider reading a book on making survival shelters from available raw materials. It amazes me how people go on that show so totally clueless about how to shelter and feed themselves for 30 days.
7) That was funny that the guy who was picked to swim was black, making some follow the stereotypical thought that black men don't swim. Then it ended up he was a waterpolo player in college. Ha! So much for those stereotypes. The guy who selected him was spot on that one. Did you see him run into the water? We should pick him to run next time. I could watch him run all day long. Made me think of James. Remember James the grave digger? I could watch James mow the lawn and not get bored.

Well, thanks for letting me share my Survivor thoughts. Come by the blog next week and we can chat again. If you come by the house, we'll have pizza and beer too!

Carbs Anyone?

2009-09-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

My teenaged son called me at work today.

Him: there's no food in the house.

Me: what? (knowing there are eggs, fruit, sandwich stuff, salad items galore, probably Eggo-s)

Him: there's no mac and cheese, no spaghetti-O's, no ramen, no corn dogs....what am I supposed to eat?

Me: uhm....(recites list above)

Him: never mind (in sulky voice) I found some leftover sloppy joes. Are you going to the store today?

So at 5 PM today I'm standing in my local Wal-Mart superstore (which I never choose to go to, but that's another post) with a conveyor belt full of carbs. I'm wanting to shout out to the imagined glares around me......I'M NOT FAT BECAUSE OF THESE CARBS!!!! THESE CARBS ARE A PHONE ORDER FOR THE IMPOSSIBLY THIN 18 YEAR OLD AT MY HOUSE!!!! I DIDN'T TEACH HIM TO EAT LIKE THIS!!! I COOKED NUTRITIOUS MEALS 99 TIMES OUT OF 100!!! I BREAST FED HIM AND MILLED HIS BABY FOOD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!! BROCCOLI USED TO BE HIS FAVORITE FOOD!!!!

DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!

But I didn't. I simply remebered where I was, swiped my card, skulked out of the store, and made my man-cub happy.

The Helm

2009-09-14T20:33:00.000-07:00

This is where the captain sits. Not the admiral, mind you. There are bosses to contend with. But here's where the action is.

Decisions are made. Angry calls are calmed. Questions answered. Souls soothed. And agitated. Boundaries are set. And flooded. Authority challenged. Often upheld.

It often feels like a jail cell. Yet it allows me to provide food, shelter, and often extras for myself and child. I loved being off work, but I would hate to be out of work.

Plus they give me a window. And that's not nuthin'. They didn't give me one that opens, though. That's probably good because sometimes I'd be tempted to jump.

Bad idea from only the third floor, I'm sure. There's probably other good reasons not to jump, too.

All in all.....the days go by smoothly.

I would love to redirect my career to be in line with who I am deep in my heart. This would require much education and lots of time. But as I while away these days in my cubicle, I could also be working toward another dream.

It occurs to me I could actually be the one who makes the decisions in my own life. Funny how time and other choices muddle that fact. I could really sit at the helm of my own ship and steer it toward my dream.

Bench Monday

2009-09-14T05:04:00.001-07:00

Hi Ho Hi Ho.....

2009-09-13T18:01:00.001-07:00

...it's off to work I go. Deetel deet deet deet, deetel do....never mind.

My job is not as much fun as marching off to the mines singing with my dwarfed brethren.

I sit in a cubicle. I have a window (which isn't nothing), but no door. Is it too much to ask for a stinking door? It would keep the riff raff out....which is possibly why I don't have one.

I'm a supervisor. Have you ever done that? Well, if you haven't....let me tell you what. If you have, we can talk about it later over a well deserved happy hour.

I've been off for 3 weeks. Getting up when I want. Going to bed when I want. Visiting friends, taking vacations, hiking in my favorite places, watching movies, having surgery. Okay that last one wasn't that great, but I've been feeling so good for at least the past week and I was really getting used to being my own master.

Alas, I'm a slave to the direct deposit monster and so I'll report dutifully at 7AM tomorrow.

Remember me how I was......

What Happens In Vegas....

2009-09-12T13:28:00.001-07:00

...is mostly lost on me. I don't gamble (I'm too cheap and need a tangible return for my $$, like shoes or trips or lunch in my favorite restaurant), I have a 2 drink maximum, and show girls aren't my thing.

Even still, aside from the tattoo, there were actually lots of fun things to do in Vegas. I went on a super fast rollercoaster, saw an absolutely phenominal show (Cirque du Soleil-LOVE), had a frozen hot chocolate, went to a restaurant that was featured on Drive-Ins, Diners, and Dives (emphasis on Dive) for a superb all meat stromboli, walked approximately 25,000 miles in flip flops, and found out from a very quick little man that photos in a casino are prohibited by gaming laws.

Fountains at the Bellagio are spectacular. Cirque du Soleil is unbelievable. The drive there is horrific.

But mostly, in my opinion, what happens in Vegas is best suited to stay there.

12 Miles.....in the sand

2009-09-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

I love these shoes. I love to hike. Yesterday some friends of mine invited me to go to the coast for a day of hiking. I'm all about it!

My friends are getting into the swing of hiking and decided to track their "hiking miles" this summer. They were on track to reach 100 miles on this very hike. And I was there to witness the blessed event.

Only some of the trail was sand. And that makes 12 miles really hard.

Plus I have a very strained relationship with sunscreen. And that makes my skin like red leather.

Even with all that drama, there really is no better way for me to spend a day than with good friends, a little sweat, and God's beautiful world.

Bench Monday

2009-09-07T23:44:00.001-07:00

Wine Garden Stories

2009-09-06T15:18:00.000-07:00

I love working the wine garden at the State Fair.
This is my friend, Theresa. She works for a local grocery chain and this particular chain runs the wine garden every year. They sign up volunteers to work. You get admission to the fair, free parking, an apron, a commemorative glass with free wine at the END of your shift. And TIPS. I've never worked in the food industry where you get tips (since McDonalds has a no tipping policy). How could I resist tips? This was the third annual trip for us.
After 3 hours of visiting with new people, pouring over 80 different wines, and running around behind a very crowded counter earning a whopping $20 in tips..... we get to spend our tip money on the evening. LOVE the wine garden!

PS--I left out the part of the evening that involved me eating an eggroll on a stick, corn with butter, 1/2 of a cinnamon roll, and -- for some totally unknown reason besides inebriation--I smoked 2 cigarettes with some person I didn't even know, but seemed to have so much in common with at the time. I don't smoke, by the way, which makes that second cigarette especially mysterious. I really do LOVE the wine garden. Perhaps a little too much?

Tenacious

2009-09-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

Holding fast to the dream. Not even rocks can keep us down.

I Don't Miss My Cubicle

2009-09-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

I don't miss my cubicle. Not even one little bit.

I got up early. Went for a 3.5 mile walk, had coffee in the sun, yakked it up with my wonderful friend, walked the 3.5 miles home.

I ate lunch. Sat on my butt. Took a nap.

I got up and showered and went to the Trader Joe's at 5PM. How will I ever return to a real life?
I don't know, but in the mean time I cooked this for dinner.

Boeuf Bourguignon

Mastering The Art of French Cooking. Page 315. My new favorite page. Beef in red wine with bacon, onions, and mushrooms.

It was served at 9:00PM. Unheard of in my real life. Indescribably delicious is real time.

Detox Diaries

2009-09-02T19:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the last post was a little heavy. It's amazing what a new day can bring. I'm up each morning walking with a dear sweet friend who is here visiting from out of town. (She has to visit periodically now that she unceremoniously moved away. I wasn't asked for my opinion on that move, btw.) It's doing me a world of good.

I'm detoxing off the Darvocet.

I'm off work for 3 weeks. 2 weeks of recovery and 1 week of vacation. I'm getting out of town for a few days. I'm cooking more. I'm eating less. My house is clean. My dog is exercised. I'm left wondering how I will ever be able to return to my actual life. This is inevitable since I want the direct deposit to keep working.

I have a little more perspective today. I'm healthy. My children are healthy. I have great hair.
I have this nifty blog to pour out my innermost feelings into cyberspace.

Life is good.

Can We Talk?

2009-08-31T20:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm in a perpetual mid-life crisis. Or maybe my crisis is just going to last all through the middle of my life. That would be bad.

There has to be more to life. More than I currently experience.

But I can't seem to access the parts of life that I think would make me happiest. I can't go backward in time to relive the seasons of my life that were so very satisfying and comforting.

I can only go forward. Well, actually, I also have the option to stagnate. Which has been my current mode of operation, but it's far less than satisfying and I'm afraid I can't continue to choose it.

This is my dilemma. I don't need a new hobby. I don't need a new hairdo. A new outfit would help, but not until I lose this extra 20 lbs. that caught up to me during this latest bought of stagnation.

I need to chose a new path for this newest season of my life. But I don't have the platform for change that I would have hoped for at this point of my life. I'm divorced. I'm empty-nesting. I haven't have a date in 30 years. I live in a dingy apartment under a suburban freeway. I spend most of my life's energy working a job that has absolutely nothing to do with who God created me to be.

I can dream of a different life, but at the end of the day, I'm the only one here to pay the rent and buy groceries and there's no time left to work at the dreams of a different life. There's no one coming along beside me to help me work out the details. I'm not even sure what details I should be working on.

I'm stranded in my own life.

Celebration Cobbler

2009-08-30T19:02:00.000-07:00

I'm back on my game. I went for a long walk this morning. I went to mom's for lunch. I took a trip to the grocery store and I was quietly happy inside when the Pina-Colada Song came on the radio on the way home from WinCo. And I don't even like the radio. Or WinCo.

It's just so good to feel good.

It's also good to swallow. Swallowing is SO underrated.

I have been craving so many things since the onset of my liquid diet. In honor of "Elaine-Can-Swallow-Without-Excruciating-Pain Sunday" I decided to make a peach cobbler.

Life is good.

Pampered Chef Treasure Hunt

2009-08-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

I just got back from yet another Pampered Chef party. I actually haven't been to one in a quite a while, but it's a virtual treasure hunt to find a Pampered Chef product (that I can actually afford) that I don't already have.

After much contemplation and a lemon drop martini, I selected the large micro steamer. Only 4-6 weeks until I can zap my veggies in plastic.

Well, I can probably do that today, but it won't look as cool.

Memoir of an Agoraphobic

2009-08-27T17:54:00.000-07:00

After 7 days indoors, I left the house today. I got in my car and went on an out of town errand.

It felt good.

It's good to be off the pain meds. My head has been so foggy these past days.

I have learned a few important things about myself during this time of recovery.

I don't chew my food very well. I really need to work on that.

I eat a lot of bread. I crave it. I haven't been able to have bread-like things, they're too sticky to swallow. But I crave it. All the time. Toast, donuts, waffles, muffins. The list goes on and on.

My weight problem might be due to the amount of bread-like products I eat. I won't elaborate, you've seen the list.

I don't enjoy spending days on end in the house. I'm way too active to be laying around all day.
I hate sugar free jello. I can't believe I bought it. If you've never tried it, don't.

I'm glad to be on the mend. I'm free at last!

Come On Get Happy

2009-08-26T18:57:00.001-07:00

Now, if this were an actual blog, I would be giving some of these little pearls away. But it's not. Sorry. But I wanted to introduce you to the friend I've been bonding with this past week.

It's a Martha Stewart pom-pom throw from Macy's. My mom bought it for me for Christmas last year. She actually bought it for me and let my son give it to me, which made us all happy.

I just love it. It's super soft. It's the perfect weight. The pom-poms make me happy just looking at them.

I think I might need to get out of the house soon.

Confessions of a Hugh Grant Fan

2009-08-25T21:03:00.001-07:00

I've been watching movies on my lap top during my recovery. I usually enjoy art house films, docu-dramas, regular dramas, and the occassional romantic comedy. Yesterday I tried to watch one of my foreign film selections from Net Flix. It's almost impossible to read subtitles while lying on your side hopped up on Darvocet. They were speaking in French and I couldn't catch a single word.

I'm not a film snob. Not by a long shot. But I enjoy a certain amount of intelligence in a film.

Except for this one area. I love Hugh Grant. I know. But I do. It's not just the Darvocet talking.

I think his characters are cute. I think his characters are funny. I think his characters look like fun to be around. Notting Hill, Two Weeks Notice, Love Actually, About A Boy.....I love Hugh Grant Movies.

Please don't tell anyone. If you do, I'll deny it.

So This Is How It Begins....

2009-08-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

You know those people who lay in bed and get so fat they have to be removed from their house with a crane?

I might now understand how they get started down that road. They have their tonsils out. Then they lay in bed for days on end while people bring them whole roasted chickens and plates full of pancakes.

Only my people will only bring me broth and jello products. I may not be able to get really fat on that diet. I do, however, need some sort of protein. All the sugar and all the pain meds are weighing on me. I thought I would wean off the prescriptions today and try just taking extra strength Tylenol. It was a mistake and I'm off the wagon tonight.

I wonder if arguing with the dog over which TV show to watch is a sign of cabin fever?

At any rate, here I am, lying in bed with this monkey on my back, trying to slurp down another tubette of jello with a Gatorade chaser.

I'm not on track for the miraculous recovery. I'm going to have to settle for the speedy recovery instead.

The Tonsils Have To Go

2009-08-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

The tonsils are leaving my throat in a blaze of glory tomorrow at 7 AM Pacific Standard time.

Good riddance to the slimey little trouble makers.

I'll be back full of narcotic pain killers in the afternoon.

Another Successful Pizza Night

2009-08-19T18:58:00.000-07:00

Abandonment

2009-08-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's an unfortunate recurrent theme in my life.

But this time it's not about me. It's about the photography class I'm taking. It's more of a creative group. We will only have 2 classes and 2 field trips. We did some brainstorming during the first class. Then 2 field trips. Then we'll share the results. It's fun.

We went to an abandoned city on Saturday. I'm definitely a beginner photographer. But here are some of the shots I got that say abandonment to me.

Tattered curtains. Neglected wood. Pink paint faded from forgotten dreams.

Worn out walls that once held learning and faith.

Windows that looked out on bright skys and better days.

Forgotten places of days gone by.

Hopefully that wasn't too depressing.

Salvaged Dessert

2009-08-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

I did some catering this weekend.

Not really, but I like the way that sounds. I did make some treats for two outings with friends this weekend. Friday night was Concert in the Park. The final concert at the local community park this summer. I made sandwiches on ciabatta rolls, corn and avocado salsa with chips, ice cold beer, and jumbo chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Since I was the only one of my friends attending both outings, and I was the only one bringing the food, I cheated and did a repeat for a Saturday photo class field trip, minus the beer.

These little beauties were intended to be the darling of the weekend. Jumbo chocolate chip cookies with pecan hunks. I had trouble with these from the beginning. I left the bag of chocolate chips on the counter while I ran the dishwasher. Heat and chocolate. You can see where this is going. I saved them with a little refrigeration and muscle.

You drop them onto the cookie sheet with a 1/4 cup scoop. They're big, yummy cookies. I got the recipe from my friend JoAnne. Hers turn out crispy on the edges and soft and yummy in the center. I didn't have such luck. Mine were doughy in the center. So I left them in longer. Then they were crispy in the center and like granite on the edges. Seriously. They could take out that fragile molar you have in the back. They could loosen your veneers.

Geez. I had to present these at 2 outings. These were the finale. Both times. Crud.

I called them Disaster Cookies. I could only get rid of 2 of them. But they were so beautiful and stuffed full of delicious ingredients. I couldn't disgard them so easily.

Then this morning, in a moment of brilliance.......

Introducing........Chocolate Chip Biscotti.

I'm both creative AND beautiful.

What Is This?

2009-08-13T16:01:00.000-07:00

Some sort of ancient relic, I suppose. A depository for unwanted pizza coupons and carpet cleaning flyers.

These days I don't even get my electric bill in the mailbox. All my bills come online. Occasional birthday cards bearing birthday funds come in the post. Those are mostly for my kids, though. They're too quick now and I can't even get to the money first anymore.

Maybe I've lived in the city too long, but there are no longer mailboxes like this in my neighborhood. I haven't had a mailbox like this in 10 years. Everyone has a lock box located about every 10 houses. Remember the little flag? It let the mailman know he should stop even if he wasn't going to deliver an overdue library book notice to you. Again. It was quaint. Nowadays people steal your outgoing letters if you give them a signal that you've left them unattended on the street. (Did I just say nowadays? Geez I act old these days.)

I'm not really lamenting the lack of metal mailboxes. I just thought this was a cool picture. I still get my Netflix and the PG&E knows exactly where to find me.

No Caffeine....remember?

2009-08-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

I'm off caffeine. Well, I'm not addicted to it any longer. I will still have a caffeinated beverage every now and again, but it bothers me. Makes me jittery. Keeps me awake. I know these things. I've tested it over and over. It's caffeine. I shouldn't have it.

Last night I went to Whole Foods with a friend for dinner. I was having some trouble with the salad bar. The dressings need help there. Far be it from me to try and educate the people at Whole Foods, they've figured out how to get me to pay $7.99 a LB for salad, so they're apparently much smarter than I am.....but their dressing area needs some serious help.

Anyway, I went to the coffee bar to get a napkin (dressing fingers) and the nice gentleman behind the counter pushed a very large frozen whipped mocha-ccino toward me and said "you want this?" I must have had a "look" on my face, because he quickly added, "no strings, you can just have it" He was training and this was practice and he didn't want it to go to waste.

My lucky day.

Now, the caffeine issue is real, but so was that whipped cream all over the top of it. I quickly said "SURE!!"

As I was walking away, he called out "Oh, and it has 4 shots of espresso..." under his breath.

It was 7 PM. I know better.

I got 2 small cups and shared it with my friend. I drank about 4 sips and I knew I was making a big mistake. I gave the rest to my friend, who either doesn't have a problem with caffeine or doesn't like to sleep.

Guess who was up at 11 last night? Wide awake. My lucky day. Then I drank 3 beers. I'm at an all-time high with my weight and I've been blaming middle age. You would think I could retrace my steps to 5 minutes ago and figure this one out. But I don't.

I'm wearing a new top today. It has a ruffle around the bottom. I look like a hippo in a tutu. I'm blaming the caffeine.

You Be The Judge

2009-08-09T19:38:00.001-07:00

Notice anything missing? Yeah. The Captain has left the Platoon.

This is the long-running family dispute. Who has better looking feet? You can be the judge.

My cousin suffered a terrible electrocution accident that almost ended his life. It was truly horrible. He truly suffered in many ways. But his incredible personality draws him toward life and humor.

One of the long lasting effects of this terrible accident was the loss of his big toe.

No one would dispute this as a tragedy. A tragedy in need of socks. Which he refuses to wear. Closed toed shoes, anyone? Nope. Too hot in summer for shoes. Besides, I think he thinks it's cool to be missing a toe.

Anyway, he gives me grief about my toes. He is constantly telling me what ugly feet I have. Me. She who has been complimented by STRANGERS on her feet. Well, anyway, for the past decade or so we've been in a feud about whose feet are more attractive. Under normal circumstances, I would never insist to someone who is missing a toe that my feet are 'better'. But he won't let it go. He keeps insisting his are superior.

I've decided to let the viewing public decide!

The Oregon Trail

2009-08-07T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm headed to Oregon this morning to retrieve my uncle from his vacation. He's perfectly capable of driving himself, so it's left me wondering why he would get shuttled to and from Oregon by the women in his life. It's a partial feeling of dependence on his part. It's partially a "mother overdrive" on our part. Part is because they want to see him. Part is because I want to see them. And then there's the me-getting-out-of-town part that is probably taking up the lion's share.

I'm excited for a road trip. I'm excited to get my suitcase dusted off.

I'll be back Sunday night.

Floppy-Ear'd Menace

2009-08-06T18:11:00.000-07:00

Her street name is Fenway. She may be a member of Al-Queida. Approach with caution.

She's been using terrorist tactics on us since Monday night. Noise pollution (barking every 20 seconds for hours on end), sleep deprivation (door scratching, whining, and 2 am bed trouncing), and shameless begging at dinner. She has a sock fettish, so there are random socks all over the house.

I owe her mother 12,000 hours of dog sitting. I'm hoping those are dog-hours.

She's mine until Friday.

Julia and Me

2009-08-05T21:04:00.001-07:00

I had the opportunity to see the new Julie and Julia movie. I loved it. Women searching for who they are, trying to find their life and purpose. Women finding themselves in the kitchen, creating, exploring, enjoying, laughing......it spoke straight to my heart. The movie portrays these women in supportive relationships with the husbands who love them. It was sweet and funny and I loved it.

My mom surprised me with a new copy of the Julia Child cookbook right after I'd seen the movie. This is my first shot at creating one of her delicious recipes. Beef and Onions Braised in Beer. It was phenomenal. Absolutely delicious. It's the first in a long list of recipes I will attempt to recreate in my very own kitchen!

Bon Apetit!

Another One Bites the Dust

2009-08-03T12:33:00.003-07:00

Another hub cap flew off my car. I have only one left. It's very distressing.

The Recession Has Found Me

2009-07-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

And I was hiding so well! I was still drinking my Starbuck's a few times a week. I was going out to lunch. I bought new shoes. I was planning my weekend getaways for the fall.

Ugh.

State mandated furloughs. X3. It adds up. Child support ends with an 18th birthday. But the 18 year old still has clothing needs, hunger pains, and education expenses.

Please be patient while I continue this whining episode. I appreciate it.

The hubcaps keep falling off the wheels of my car. It's a newer car with a newer car payment, yet without hubcaps, it seems to age 20 years. My recliner broke in half. While I was sitting in it. I'm 47 years old and sitting in a bean bag chair.

I'll miss eating lunch. But maybe my skirts will fit better.

There's a Rumor

2009-06-20T15:44:00.000-07:00

My computer in enroute via UPS. Go big brown truck! Go!

O Computer, Computer

2009-06-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

Wherefore art thou, my Computer?

Still in Seattle. Maybe it will be back next week.

I miss it.

I really do.

Broken Computer = Boring Blog

2009-06-07T21:11:00.000-07:00

My computer is flying it's way to Seattle for some emergency repair. It has to go all the way to Seattle because that's where it's from. My unbelievably generous and kind and incredibly talented brother in law made me a laptop. He also services it when it needs it. Last time I was in Seattle my hard drive crashed. He fixed it. Good timing!

My sister was here visiting me. My cooling fan broke. She took it home with her and I'm hoping to have it back by early next week. Good timing again.

But for now I'm borrowing a laptop.

A broken laptop really shows my addiction to the computer. Hmm.....maybe I'll get some housework done this week.

Now and Then

2009-06-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

This was then. How cute is that? My beyond precious five-year-old son graduated from kindergarten. Cute as a button. Smart as a whip. He's a chip off the old block.

This is now. My beyond precious seventeen-year-old son graduating from high school. He's a handsome man. Kind and strong. Working full time, looking forward to college.

What an experience it's been from then till now.....

On Vacation.....

2009-06-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

There are very few things wrong with my soul....

that can't be healed......

with days like this.

Short Pants and Guns II

2009-05-28T22:09:00.001-07:00

I'm so easily distracted...........

Elder Chaos

2009-05-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

It was Respect Your Elders day at the Capitol. They brought their rocking chairs right up on the North Lawn. They blasted old music on old boom boxes.

They came in gaggles.

They wore silly outfits.

They were peaceful and cute. We should respect them for their humor if for no other reason.

White Picket Fantasy

2009-05-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

I have a fantasy about life. It even includes a white picket fence.

I came across this white picket fence the other day. It was just sitting in the middle of the park. I was drawn to it because of my white picket dreams. When I walked over to it, there was nothing inside the fence worth looking at. There are far more interesting things on the outside of this particular fence.

It made me wonder if I'm limiting my dreams by corraling them with a white picket fence fantasy. What if the most interesting things about my life are on the outside of that fantasy?

Not to say that the fantasy is bad. But maybe it's just that....a fantasy.

Not grounded in reality.

One interesting thing about this white picket fence is that it's portable. Maybe I can learn something from that.

Convention-al Lunch

2009-05-22T18:27:00.001-07:00

It's summertime in Sacramento and you know what that means.....

People will be leaving their heads in the middle of the street?

No.

It means I can eat my lunch outside. I love to eat my lunch outside. Today I ventured over to the Convention Center area. My favorite deli is in that neighborhood. Pennisi's Deli on the corner of J and 13th.

They pile the corned beef so high you can get a nose bleed

Yes, that's marbled rye with swiss and 1,000 Island dressing. Isn't it beautiful?

There are several pieces of sculptured art located outside the convention center.

Beautiful benches, Chester Cheetah like dudes, really tall families....

Sandwich at Pennisi's.....$7.50

Strawberry Soda.............$1.89

Lemon wafer cookies......$2.00

Summertime lunch with the naked guy...........

Priceless

Four Corners of the Capitol

2009-05-21T20:13:00.000-07:00

The only thing State Workers like better than Cesar Chavez Day is free stuff at lunch time.

May is Bike To Work Month. If you don't work for the state, you may not have gotten the memo....but it is. Today was a celebration/bike festival/give away day. I heard a rumor that Maria Shriver and Guy Fieri were giving away ice cream at the East End and I grabbed my camera and headed to lunch early. There were scores of booths set up by private vendors and counsels. They handed out information on organic farming, they gave away tomato plants in peat pots and fresh tulip bouquets. Whole Foods handed out free shopping bags and someone was giving out ice cream...but it wasn't Maria Shriver when I got there. I didn't see hide nor hair of Guy Fieri either.

Stuff on the East End Stuff on the South End

Stuff on the West End.....there was a lot of stuff. It was mostly information about health and living green. There was a guy there who had made a pontoon boat out of plastic bottles and trash he'd found in the ocean. He made this boat and is going to sail to Hawaii in an effort to raise awareness on plastic ocean trash.

Here's the sail flying high on the front. Junk Sail. Not to be confused with a Yard Sale, which you can't float to Hawaii....

There were tons of people in the beautiful sunshine. In fact, they were bussing people in!

It was hopping everywhere but the North Side. Business as usual there.

Think green California! Ride your bike to work (unless you live in the suburbs 30 miles away, then you should carpool.... ;o)

Something...Anything

2009-05-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

I'm in a funk.
I want to commit to writing something on my blog each day.
Something.
Anything.

Hopefully I won't have too many more of these dry days.
Hopefully my funk will lift and my anythings will turn to somethings.

Capital Chaos

V is for Vindication

I Will Not Be Broken

Spring has Sprung

Camera Club

Memories

Hey Mac!

Hey Mac!! New computer is coming home tomorrow!!

Happy Valentine's Day

The Art of Procrastination

To Apple or not to Apple

Night on the Town

Burned Out Buttons

A Day Trip

The Perfect Kid

Happy New Year!

The Fat Lady Sings The Blues

Merry Christmas

Wishing You the Best Christmas

Making a List, Checking It Twice

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Anything But.....

Holiday Question?

Thankful for the Future

Thankful for My Part

Thankful for Pie

Thankful for Beauty

Wish I Were There

Beauty and Rest

Mom

Gotta Love the Adventure

Did I Volunteer?

New Way to See

Arc du Triomphe

Be Your Beautiful Self

Relax and Enjoy Yourself

Waiting For Superman

Got Crabs???

Autumn Traditions

Still Flying High

I'm **THIS** Excited!

Live Life

Seattle in the Fall

Scrapbook Expo

Long Week

Happy Anniversary???

Still Feeling Prickly

Something to Say

Empty Nest

Favorite Part of Fall

Letters From Home

One Day At A Time

I Can't Sleep

Dear Mother Nature,

Sign On The Dotted Line.......

Busted

Sunday Call To Worship

Perpetual Mid-Life Crisis

The Happiest Hour

Survivor Night

Carbs Anyone?

The Helm

Bench Monday

Hi Ho Hi Ho.....

What Happens In Vegas....

12 Miles.....in the sand

Bench Monday

Wine Garden Stories

Tenacious

I Don't Miss My Cubicle

Detox Diaries

Can We Talk?

Celebration Cobbler

Pampered Chef Treasure Hunt

Memoir of an Agoraphobic

Come On Get Happy

Confessions of a Hugh Grant Fan

So This Is How It Begins....

The Tonsils Have To Go

Another Successful Pizza Night

I'm THIS Excited!