Survivor Night

Survivor.

I love it.

I know.....but I do. I really do.

I've seen every single episode of every single season. It's an illness, I'm sure.

I used to have friends who loved Survivor as much as I do. We had weekly dinner parties and watched the show together on the DVR so we could rewind the funny parts. Like when someone makes a Blackberry out of a piece of driftwood and talks into it, or takes a nasty blow to the head, or gags on a grub worm. Like when that one guy lost a tooth and kept going through the challenge. Good stuff. My Survivor friends moved away without checking with me first. It was very sad.

I tried to carry on the tradition with others, but it's hard to find good Survivor Night buddies. It's not that I have high expectations, but not everyone likes Survivor. Shocking.

It's fun to watch (and heckle) in a group. Yet I enjoyed a solitary viewing of tonight's season premier. Since I was alone, I thought I would share some thoughts here about tonight's show because I seem to have so many words.

1) If you are going to audition for Survivor, please WATCH an episode first. Thank you.
2) If you are selected to be on Survivor, please do not include a YELLOW dress in your wardrobe. Wear brown. Or black. Shorts. Black shorts. Black shorts that actually cover your ass. Thank you.
3) I really hope they did a thorough psychological profile on Russell. He looks completely psychotic. He was acting that way, too. It should be very interesting to watch his drama unfold. I'm hoping he doesn't actually hurt someone.
4) I love watching the group dynamic in action under these ultra-concentrated conditions. Fold in an extra motivator ($1,000,000 worth of greed) and the truth of people's core being emerges. I find it facinating.
5) Jeff Probst has cute dimples.
6) If you are selected to be on Survivor, and have firsthand knowledge of the conditions of the game, have appropriate clothing selected, please buy some flint and practice building a fire. You should possibly consider reading a book on making survival shelters from available raw materials. It amazes me how people go on that show so totally clueless about how to shelter and feed themselves for 30 days.
7) That was funny that the guy who was picked to swim was black, making some follow the stereotypical thought that black men don't swim. Then it ended up he was a waterpolo player in college. Ha! So much for those stereotypes. The guy who selected him was spot on that one. Did you see him run into the water? We should pick him to run next time. I could watch him run all day long. Made me think of James. Remember James the grave digger? I could watch James mow the lawn and not get bored.

Well, thanks for letting me share my Survivor thoughts. Come by the blog next week and we can chat again. If you come by the house, we'll have pizza and beer too!